The Joneses


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AN UNOFFICIAL PSYCHOLOGICAL ANALYSIS OF AN AMERICAN ECONOMY

First of all I am not a psychologist but humor me and keep on reading. As I watched our economic demise unfold before my eyes, I got to thinking: Is there an unspoken pyschological aspect to this debt problem? And does anybody see it besides me?

Our country is in trillions of dollars in debt and I have yet to hear anybody address the deeper issue of this countries obsession with the all American pass time:purchasing. The underlining emotion cushioning the debt that we as a country has accumulated is the oldest emotion ever to rival jealousy:that feeling is insecurity.

Our society has been a leader in the evolvement of this emotion ever since psychologists have accused us of abusing it, and may I say with pity in their eyes. Keeping up with the Jones’ is a saying that was invented in the heart of America. When anyone mentions the Joneses, we don’t say; “Who are the Joneses?” We all know exactly who you’re talking about.

Who are these people really? Are they a concept or a reality? Are they really doing as well as we think?

Maybe in reality they are this sinister, evil reflection of our culture. Instead of looking up to them maybe we should be looking inward.

Let us take a closer look at who this family really is. Let’s call Mr. Jones, the cult, urban legend, upper middle class, version of Satan. Let’s look at Mrs. Jones as that consummate high school cheerleader who grew up in middle America and married her high school sweetheart, who just happened to be the class president, football star, and the leader of an unofficial evil society. Little Brady and Little Missy are the off spring of these concepts we have created , who walk around school campus’ with the newest , most expensive cell phones (with unlimited minutes of course), the cutest car and a covenant of followers who chant the newest lingo like ” Phat”, “Whatever!” “Omg!” and “For Real?”

It’s possible that they chastise your kids in school daily, stressing how much your kids aren’t as good as they are. Maybe over the dinner table the Jones’ gossip about how your kids’ shoes didn’t cost as much as their kids’ shoes or how your kid’s laptop only cost a measly $600.00. They give your kids night mares that embrace the ideas of humiliation and exile. They are the ones that make your kids feel like lepers in the midst of puberty. They are the ones that have told your children that tantrums are the new passages of teen life. They are the ones who have told your daughter that if she slams doors, pouts and screams loud enough and long enough, you’ll give in. They tell her to hang in there, you’ll come around. Their motto: don’t give up until your parents give in. (The Jones kids are truly diabolical).

They’ve told your son to collect as many girlfriends as humanly possible because it will make him cool. They’ve told him long greasy hair is actually attractive and tattoo’s are the greatest form of self expression. They have told your kids that you are blind, deaf and dumb to all of their antics and that you will never “get” them. Communication is fruitless because you are, of course, clueless. They’ve also told your kids that you didn’t exist until your kids were completely aware of you. Around the ages of 7 or 8.

Mrs. Jones shops at the finest department stores with valet. She is embraced by a group of pleasers with glasses of champagne and bottled water. Mrs. Jones knows that she is perfect, in every way. She has never had her girlfriends hold her hair out of her face as she hugs a toilet from a long girls night out. She’s never tasted red meat . Her nails are perfect, her hair is perfect, and her body is perfect. She feels that cellulite is a curse that is brought upon you for all the dinners you’ve burned and for all the times you forgot to take the clothes out of the dryer and fold them before they wrinkled. Although she’s never cooked or washed clothes a day in her life. And yes, although she can afford to place her kids in private schools, she has purposely placed her children in public schools just to show you that your children aren’t as good as hers. Mrs. Jones has never had mood swings, never had an eating disorder, and she certainly has never had bouts of depression or unmanicured toe nails. Oh yeah, she runs five miles every morning and drinks a gallon of water. Everyday.

Mr. Jones has never had love handles, a mid life crisis, hemorrhoids or even an in grown hair. He’s never even changed a tire. He doesn’t know how to cut wood and has never had back hair. He’s perfect. He’s got the best golf score in the city and has never held a golf club in his long life. He doesn’t have to. He is your competition even when he’s not on the green. Oh and he’s never had a butt pimple. Ever.

Mrs. Jones dresses little Missy in enough name brand clothes expensive enough to pay your mortgage at any given month. Little Missy goes to tanning salons every other day and will never get skin cancer. Bikini lines are forbidden. Little Missy has never had a bad hair day, a zit or her monthly visitor Flo. She’s never gotten anything less than an A although she does not know how to read. She only wears the most expensive make up and the most expensive shoes. She’s thin, smart and beautiful. Her motto is “looks aren’t everything, unless someone is watching.”

Little Brady has the prettiest girlfriend in school and never worries about acne, sweating or embarrassing muscle reactions. He’s perfect. He drives the coolest car. He’s known for being the best athlete in school but has never played a game. He’s never had athlete’s foot and he’s never scratched himself in public. He’s perfect.

Mr. and Mrs. Jones have never taught their kids the value of a dollar so little Missy and Brady have lived with their parents for over hundreds of years. They can’t survive on their own. They don’t know how.

They have endless amounts of money and fake smiles. They drive around in cars that cost more than our houses. This family has bounced from neighborhood to neighborhood over hundreds of years, causing havoc and envy to all that lay eyes on them. They never age, they never change.

They chuckle in private at how easy it is to influence an insecure society who watches every move they make. They smile with their overly whitened teeth that blind oncoming traffic as they turn into the nearest Starbucks to give themselves the caffeine high they need to continue their endless rule of the world.

When you pull up next to them on the street, they give you that “ahhh, you poor soul” look. They eye your clothes with a sad expression of pity . They give you that smile that has you questioning , are they laughing with you or at you? At the cocktail parties you both attend, they look you up and down and the first thing that comes to their mind is, are you the help or an invited guest? They look a bit confused then snap out of it and flash you a beautiful bright smile and welcome you into their circle. On the pretense of course, that by the end of the night you will be converted. They boldly let you know with a confident grin that you will never be a Jones. Although they do manage to convince you that you could come close, with a coy wink, thumbs up and a little bit of their direction.

They invite you to their five bedroom house with the white picket fence, a cute miniature dog that costs thousands and their flat screen televisions. All seven of them. They show you their pool tables, imported furniture, wine cellars and elaborate wet bars. They have two hundred bottles of alcohol from all over the world. They drink and drink all night but never get drunk. You on the other hand have to limit your usual binge drinking habit of downing six or seven glasses of rum and coke so you don’t let them see the real you. The drunk you and the honest you. The not so rich you and most visibly, the insecure you.

Because they are perfect, they have never had to talk to their children about the hazards of life. They have never struggled and learned survival skills. They will never feel pain, happiness, or enlightenment. They will never cry at a heartwarming scene in a movie. They have never laughed so hard that they’ve peed a little in their pants. They have never grasped the concept of hard work, had a callus, or tension headache. They have never felt the empathy or worth of another person because they have no feelings other than the undying need to make you feel less than who you are. That is their goal. They are perfect and you are not and they have not changed for years. Our society has created this family to torment the average person. We’ve made them bigger and stronger every year. We have manifested this family throughout history and we look up to them.

Delusion and self envy is their drug of choice. They are never hungry. Their diet consists of our self loathing, envy and dubiousness. That is how they have survived for so long. They are gorged and quite content. What does that say about us? Just a little something to think about.

So the next time you see the Jones’ in your neighborhood don’t be shy. Flash them that pretty yellow stained smile while in your crappy little car. You know the one with the horrible politically correct bumper stickers and rides on a bald spare tire? ( You know the one I’m talking about.The one that’s paid off.) Then you have to wave at them with unmanicured fingernails that are stained with the guacamole you had with your tacos for lunch and then thank God that you don’t have hundreds or thousands of dollars of credit card debt. That although you are living pay check to pay check, you feel good about yourself and only spend what you can afford. If you can’t afford it, save up. Credit has become a bad word in your world. Let them know that you are just fine with yourself and that you will survive. Butt pimples and all.

I am a Native American business owner based out of Colorado Springs. I am the owner of Native American Taco Stand a company that specializes in making Navajo taco’s and fry bread.I also have articles online at Hubpages.com and Encore Online.Article Source:http://www.articlesbase.com/non-fiction-articles/the-joneses-1094464.html

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This entry was posted on Thursday, August 6th, 2009 at 4:13 am and is filed under Quotes. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

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